Songs keep coming into my head

Songs are still coming into my head, like God Bless America, and Fly like an Eagle, and others, kind of weird, I haven’t been listening to music, but that is the way it goes I guess. I am getting more writing done at work, and other things done, then I do when I have nothing to do like when I go home, and sit there with a few hours ahead of me before I decide to go to bed. BONES IS ONE TONIGHT!!! And I don’t get to watch it until Friday night sometime, most likely Tuesday because I work and I tend to do nothing when I get home… Late

Things are still having to be done

Still doing a lot of things… found out today must have a meeting with our lawyer on Friday morning… anyways though it was just a hard day. I finally got caught up on some of my shows… BONES!!!!…. and Levarage, still waiting for House to be posted on Project Runway also haven’t completly seen about half way though, can’t wait for next Bones!! Friday morning it will be on… going to try to get friday night off so I can go to BINGO with my family… later.

Time Keeps On Slipping Into The Furture

I have random songs just flying into my head today and I haven’t listened to any music for over a month now… just at work right now, but since it is slow I have time to write, I am writing some of the stories I wrote when I was younger over, so they are more adult, there is one about a serial killer and the profilier, another is about an ex marine who gets into some trouble and her family is killed, and another has vampires demons and werewolves in it, I started writing the vampire one when I was aobut 10 so I have some work to do, the other two were for high school classes. Anyways back to the jukebox in my head for now… the voices are keeping me company… lol just joking I am not crazy… or am I?


Well I am at work yet again my family is at the cattle congress I wish I was there, I remember being young and going with my mom and dad it was the most fun a child could have, I remember walking around the animals and the butter cows, getting taffy eating those yummy mini donuts and grabbing about a million free knickknacks at the booths, playing those stupid can’t win games but dad would win us something and it was like getting gold. I try to get though the days but when I sit alone with nothing to say nothing to do, or I get bored with my distraction, I have memories flood me, like the time I was 7 my dad made me a Barbie cake, it was a seven layer blue cake that he took a Barbie and stuck it in the top of the cake, another time, my brother was born and mom and him came home on my 5Th birthday and we were play hide and seek or something (me and the others were playing not the new baby) but my sister fell and hit her head and stopped breathing and we had to call the ambulance dad left to go over to kwik star for something came back they went up to the hospital, a very dramatic birthday! But my dad made up for it he took me to see Bambi in the theater just me and him then there was a cake and presents! I have had good birthdays since but those are a couple of my best, this last being the worse being the first without dad, these holidays are going to suck dad liked thanksgiving, he hated Christmas but that is to be expected, his parents were killed in an accident on Christmas Eve and my brother Mitchell was stillborn on Dec 19Th. Halloween is coming up I remember getting dressed up and my dad was would help I would go a a witch every year, he made the costume for me, I loved it, my face would be painted green and I would have the hat and the broom and 2 bags, one for me and one for the “baby” in the car… that would be my father, or when he walked with us he would have 2 bags one for him and one for one of my siblings, he then would check the candy and take “checking fee” which was certain pieces of candy, like almond joys… people say things happen for a reason but what why take my dad from us, I know things do happen for a reason because if my grandparents had not been killed in the accident when my dad was 16, and his car hadn’t broke down coming back from the Marine Corps my parents wouldn’t have met and had us, but why dad why now he was only 50 and it is not like any of us is leaving or any of us are coming back home we are all in Waterloo, so the reason I know now hopefully it I won’t have to wait to long to find out. The image is a nine pointed star, which I am going to get a tattoo of, one point for me and each of my siblings!

Worst Birthday Coming Up Ever

Already bored at work go figure… My birthday is Monday and it is going to be the worse birthday ever for those who know me know why for those who don’t my father John C. Rochholz passed away on Augest 15th, he was only 50 and it was so sudden. Mom and I spent the day with him rode bikes, played a stupid game, something with the word golf but we are though balls to try to land them on a plastic rail thing, then went shopping we just bought him new cloths for school (he was going school to get his Class A CDL) and found a pair of jeans in his size really nice for only a couple of dollars at Kmart, then went back to the campsite (we were camping) and he chopped some wood and started a fire, had some heartburn, told me to cook the steak him and mom would be back after picking up mason (one of my 4 brothers) and instead my uncle came and picked me up, I knew then I felt it, it is the worst thing that has ever happend, and the furnerl home and the cemetary and everybody is just throwing so much at you and you have to make a choice now and ugh it is just horrible, then the person at the cemetary told my mom if my dad had come in and got his plot when he was alive it would have been free now they couldn’t have told them that when we had to bury 3 of my brothers ( I have 7, 3 were stillborn), it is horrible, I miss him so, sometimes I still thinkg this is a nightmare and I am going to wake up it doesn’t feel real though I know it is and it will hit me and I will just cry, and everybody is asking how are you how is your mom how is your family doing, how do you think we are doing is what I want to reply it is so stupid to ask that bloody question! A big chunk of our life was taken from us with out cause or reason and so suddenly, he was fine no issues and only 50! Really put yourself in the same shoes how would you be doing? I just want to snap at them but I don’t it is rude, and my parents brought me up not to be so rude, though I can get rude and loud at people, and snap at them without cause I just don’t put up with stupid people or people who clearly shouldn’t be doing what they are doing, or ones that can’t read their own guidelines (Talking about companies here) Anyways Later