Monster University-James

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 “I have come far from being the husband of a Voodoo queen, Marie Laveau. Of course, being killed by her because of her lover did really piss me off. But I got my revenge; I came back. And I had turned her lover into a crow. Now any lover of Marie’s I get to. Before she can kill them to make her little zombies, I create into zombies and then transform them into birds. Then I keep them until I tire of them. Most of the time I will kill and eat them. Mmm… my favorite meal ever was eating the man who caused me to snap at Marie and cause my death. Most of the time I command them as birds, but I can flip them back to zombies. I don’t just choose her lovers, after all she doesn’t keep them long anymore, but anybody who is a ‘cheater’, after all, a person should always be faithful to their spouse. Time to send my little birds out to find a few more souls to punish. After all, it is time for my meal.”

James smirked as he cut into the pheasant he had cooked for tonight’s meal. Real winner this one was, he had seven women on the side of his wife. He kept him as a pheasant for about three years, using him to track others. He rarely lets them out of their bird forms. Easier to maintain. After all, he didn’t need zombies roaming around eating people’s brains. He never approved of how Marie kept hers. He saw the zombies that Marie sent to spy on him. He wondered if he should kill them to send a message. Or he could change them into something else. 

Birds were his specialty. He thought about it before shrugging it off. She will do what she shall. Pity she locked her newest zombie away before I could have gotten ahold of him. He needed some more chickens; he is having a dinner party soon to celebrate our undead lives. He stood up and snapped his fingers at one of his human formed zombies. “Clean it up. I have to go make some house calls.” With that, he swept out of the house, turning into a raven and taking flight.

James made it to Bo’s office. “Hey Bo!” He swooped in through the window and as he turned back, he plopped down.


“Oh, you know I ain’t going by that name, chère.”

“And I ain’t your dear. What do you need? I gotta get this paperwork done for the Frankenstein family.”

“Oh, Beth and Frank are in town?” James asked. “What are you doing for them?”

“Nothing of your concern, but I am sure Beth will have a party shortly that will rival even yours this weekend.” Bo stated.

“Ahh, but I love them both! Seriously!” He held up his hands at Bo’s glare. “I mean they had both I and Marie dead to rights and Frank still had some messed up belief he owed me for helping him find an emergency heart for Beth.”

“Frank is a good one.” Bo stated as he dotted a few more i’s and crossed a few more t’s. “What do you want James?”

“Nothing really. Just want to make sure you sent out those invites and got Kristoff to come a couple hours before the party. I need him to spell the house to make sure we don’t do something stupid. Like Marie tried with Beth and Frank.”

“Yes, we are prepared for your party.”

James smirked. “It will be a straight up Monster…”

“Don’t even think of it, James. There are copyright laws.”

James laughed. “I promise to not play the song more than a million times at the party!”

Bo sighed. “Get out. Just get out!”

James stood up and laughed. “Later my friend! See you at the party! I have some dinner to hunt down!” He swept out of the office, turning back into a raven and flying off to where his loyal slaves told him his future victims were.

James landed to find the strip joint. Seriously, with all the progress that the country has done since he was alive and undead sometimes people were predictable. Give them an outlet to their vices and they took it. Build a bar and people would abuse alcohol; build a restaurant and people will abuse fast food; build a casino and people will play the game of chance; but build a strip joint and show the private parts of the body off and people will fall to the vice of lust and sex. And those were his victims. Those who fell to the point they were cheating on their spouses. This was always a good place to go. Not that all strip joints are; some don’t have a shady side business. James turned back and waved his hand, changing his suit into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He may not be a full warlock, but he had picked up a few tricks during his life and his death.

“Hello honey!” A waitress smiled. “Drink?”

“Beer. Whatever you got that is domestic and on tap.” James stated as he sat a few tables from the stage.

“Got it!” The waitress hurried off as fast as her stilettos could take her.

James sat and watched his prey. Being a voodoo priest allowed him to see souls; to see the truth of man’s action. There were four men and two women. They would make lovely chickens to feed his dinner guests. He would keep them, but he didn’t feel like going through the full ritual to make them his slaves. A few drops of a potion and dead man’s blood in their drink will lead them to his place where he will change them and then fatten them up to be dinner. He sat and sipped his beer as he watched them go into back rooms and come out. He had chatted up the waitress and a bit of a charm stopped her before she served them their last drinks; slipping his potion in. Now to just wait. James left the club and flew back home.

James didn’t have to wait long. Soon he had his chickens and soon he would have his mash! James laughed out loud again. He smiled as he prepared for the party in a few days. Seeing his invitation to celebrate the new addition to the Frankenstein family. “Well, I’ll be damned, Frank has a daughter.” He laughed at that and knew she would turn out just as Beth did, smart, powerful, and a pure monster; he just hoped she did have some of Frank’s caring nature as well. But to put that out of his mine, he had a graveyard smash to plan!

James was talking to Kristoff. “I wish I had been a full warlock sometimes.”

“Eh, it is not so glamorous.” Kristoff stated as he put the next marking rune on the door to help ease relationships.

“Is the life of any monster? We all have our downsides and our pluses. We all have to do rituals to live. And most of us are so afraid of death we will never stop them; no matter our feelings on the matter.”

“True. Most of us became this in the need for revenge, though. Makes you wonder if maybe there isn’t a way for us all to gain forgiveness.” Kristoff finished off his markings.  “There done!”

“Don’t overthink buddy. Let’s just take things as it flows and have a grand ole time in a few days!”

Kristoff shook his head. “The forever optimist, even if your wife killed you and you have seen the depravity of humanity.”

“Always. Always the optimist and the life of the party!” James laughed as he showed the warlock out; and turned back to his lab to prepare more potions for his next big party.

Just a few days later, he opened the door to his first guests. “Frank! Beth! And the little monster!”

“James.” Beth greeted. “This little monster is my granddaughter Sophie.”

“She is a cute kid! Frank, you must be proud of the little monster!”

“Of course; she is turning out to be as smart as mother and myself.” Frank stated as he accepted a beer. “Are we the first?”

“Yep, but don’t worry we shall have a great time! The fun will catch on in a flash!” Frank groaned as Beth joined him in his laughing.

James smiled a couple hours later. Drake and Darin were up, taking over the band. Frank was even relaxed and showing off his new child. Beth came up. “My husband, Viktor would have done something like this. I am glad that someone took this up.” She stated.

“No problem! I love having fun. The ghosts, ghouls, zombies, Mr. Bo Jingles over there. Everybody is having fun and not trying to kill each other. That is why I do it. So that we can have one peaceful meeting of all the monsters in our town. I know how hard it is sometimes to let bygones be bygones. I mean, my own wife killed me when I tried to kill her. But this is a smash and everybody is getting along and soon we will have a nice dinner!” James clapped his hands. “To the dining room!” He laughed and lead the way.

Ewan and Ajit were talking. “These are always the best chickens, James. What is your secret?”

“Cheaters and Liars!” He laughed as he cut into the next fat juicy chicken.

“Well, they make an excellent dinner.” Ajit stated as he took another bite. “Where are your birds tonight?”

“Hunting. I allowed a few loyal ones to come to the party; as you can see. But most are flying and collecting data for my next hunting trip.” James stated as he sipped his wine.

“Always a good time here, James.” Ewan stated.

Hal grunted. “At least we are in a big enough town and it is close to a few major cities or this many of us would draw attention.”

Many of the other monsters nodded. They lucked out with this town of Grand Prairie Rapids. They lucked out indeed. James smiled as everybody finished their dinner. “Come on everybody! Let’s do the Monster Mash!” He snapped his fingers, starting the music. This was the life! It was a good time to be a monster!

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