My soul belongs to you and only to you And I shall meet you again at the midnight dew You were the light on my dark path You hold my soul in life and in death The day I said I Do I gave my existence to you You say you see the light in my soul Even if I believe it is black as coal But than again my soul belongs to you Your took it with you with that last breath you drew You were the only light in my dark life You make my living hell worth the strife I shall meet you again at my midnight dew As my soul belonged only to you
I remember it like yesterday. Was it yesterday? Time seems to blur lately with my depressed thoughts. That Hollow’s Eve that ended my childhood and set me upon this road. A loss of childhood is a requirement of life I guess, but one that still comes as a surprise to everybody when they realize it is over. Those carefree days, gone forever, often times in a blink of an eye. Many have contribute to that day, many that regret the choices that led to that day.
Even as I lay here and listen to the voices talk about what is to be done with me. I listen as my godfather slams the refrigerator closed, I listen as my godmother cries, and I even hear her blasted pet bird squawk against its cage being thrown about as people went to and fro.
I close my eyes as I remember that day upon the pier when my parents said good bye to me. That day that was only a week before that terrible day, but seems so far away. The ship of iron and steel then was hit by a ship killer. And that is what that storm did. It killed the ship and along with it my parents.
So as I lay here, moments after hearing the voices talk about where they would continue raising my ten-year-old self, and try to think. At that moment I strengthen my mind, I create walls around my heart, and I make a vow.
A vow that I will become the queen I am about to be crowned, and nobody, not even my godparents, will control my ambition to show the world I am my father’s daughter.
Those voices would not be able to control my ambition to have the world fear the name, Anne Bathory.
Because while I may not be Queen of my nation, I am queen of my land and my name would be feared.
That I can guarantee in my last moment of childhood, as Death has presented me with the Queen’s crown.
I lay here, my eyes wide open. My life it flashes before my life. My childhood. My teen years, and the start of the path I went down. My adult years and that final act that finally lead to this position.
I lay here and wonder what my life had been like if I hadn’t made the choices I had. I lay here and feel, maybe for the first time in my existence, regret.
So that is what regret feels like. Excitement. Release. A moment of relief.
Those emotions for my life were the only ones I knew. Odd how now that my eyes are on display that I feel something I always should have all along.
Remorse. Regret. Sadness. It is a novel feeling to finally feel… human.
That part that was hidden so deep inside me.
Now out in the open and on display as my eyes see the last faces they will ever see.
They say eyes are the windows to the soul. That is why I used to wear sunglasses. Why I keep my eyes hidden from the world. So they won’t see the darkness of my soul.
See the things that I had seen. See the things I have done. See my true soul.
So I hid my eyes. Maybe I did feel, but I was so hidden. So hidden that I even hid my eyes from myself. I couldn’t look myself in the eyes. To look myself in the eyes would have reminded me of the sins I ran from. Remind me of the pain and death I caused.
But today the glasses finally came off.
Today my eyes will close forevermore, after they are bared for the world to see.
As I finally pay for my sins.
As they inject me with drugs to stop my heart my eyes wide open and on display, the world sees my soul and the fact I finally regret my choices.
“Demons aren’t supposed to feel the virtues. We can feel the Deadly Sins. My favorite has been lust. Sex is something in of itself. When I was warned to stay away from the Angel, of course I didn’t. I started going to the bar and talking with her. Flirting with her. When she moved and became a cadet at the police academy, I would make sure to run into her when she came to work random shifts at the bar. Or even when she came to the diner or bar to talk to Morgan and Jo. When I first realized my lust had skidded into the unmentionable virtue and I was going into a downward spiral of appreciation and… affection, I started to sleep with anybody and everybody. I was running from the feelings, of course, I am a Demon! I don’t… love… I went home with a different mortal each night, had se, made a deal, and then did t again to keep my thoughts off the Angel. And I did this until it didn’t work, and I started calling her name no matter the body I was with at the time. So, I started causing battles with her instead… Sometimes fighting could be just as good as sex…”
Raven sat upon the bar stool at Jo’s, he had no real idea why he was here. I stopped picking up random mortals, the high just wasn’t there anymore. The Angel had destroyed him. He went from the model Demon to… to this excuse for an immortal Earl of Hell. If his minions saw him now, they would revolt, rebel, they would re-something anyways. The Angel. That was why he sat at the bar with a beer and was depressed. He sat watching her bring out her wings, it was past closing time and no mortals were in the bar. They were almost all gold, meaning she still tried to be a good little Angel. Sinning only when needed, a lie here, a lie there, about her past. Or stealing to live. There are grey’s too. Her sins she had chosen. Cursing is what she told Jo, but Raven wondered if any of them were lust. If she had given into any of the Deadly Sins. He got up and made his way towards the girls. Drunk enough now to be stupid enough to ask the question. Frank and Lucas grabbed his arm. “Let me go.” He slurred out as he tried to continue that way. He had to ask HIS Angel a question.
“You are drunk,” Lucas drawled. “Sit down.”
“I gotta ask the angel a question!”
“Why?” Frank didn’t really care, he was just trying to delay him from going over there and embarrassing himself. Anybody with even a half of brain can figure out the Demon fell once more, this time for a Fallen Angel that had the power to say no to Satan.
“Because she makes me a worse demon than the one in the book she has fallen in love with!”
“Which one is that?” Lucas sat back with his hands behind his head and smirked.
“That one! Where the angel, who really revels in the deadly sins, and the demon hid the fact that he reveled in the virtues. The pair she calls the ineffable husbands! That demon is a disgrace to demons! Cares about kids, kind regards of what he says, in love with a blood sinning angel! And I gotta ask MY Angel a question! While I am drunk! Or I won’t be able to ask her!”
Lucas let go, “well, go on, I am curious what question could make a demon nervous!” He laughed as he drained the rest of his beer.
Frank looked like he wanted to protest, but he let Raven go; it would at least give them some entertainment while his mother and Bo were out spoiling his daughter.
Raven stumbled over there. “Angel! Angel!”
Alyssa looked at Raven and tilted her head. “What is it, Raum?” She still insisted on calling him by his real name.
He smirked, “You want to keep calling me by my name, perhaps I should call you by yours, after all your signal is still branded upon the back of your neck.”
“What is it you want, Raum?” Alyssa sighed, it wasn’t like anybody couldn’t look up who she was, it was obvious after all, her signal, as she kept her hair short.
“Well, Anael, I was wondering, if any of your grey feathers are because you have had sex?”
Alyssa spit out her drink. “What? No! And the feathers would be a deep rich royal blue if I gave into lust. Even if there is love behind it. Alyssa was growing flustered at the questions. She knew he was just picking another fight, and she didn’t feel like fixing up the bar, again. “Leave me alone, Raum.”
Raven sneered and then jumped. “Come one, Anael, you think you are so much better than me! We are both FALLEN! We are both the same!” He threw her against the wall, it buckled under the force and broke the frames that were upon it.
“WE ARE NOT THE SAME!” Alyssa screamed as she used her wings to push herself from the wall and push him back. Before she took to the air and used gravity to come down upon him with her full strength, pushing him through the floor.
The fight was destroying the bar, Jo was a bit peeved, but it wasn’t anything that hadn’t happened before. Raven moved and finally got an amulet around her neck. And with that it gave him the boost he needed, along with his connection to hell, to get her on the ground.
“It is the eleventh hour, what will you do dear Angel?” Raven smirked as he held her throat in his fist.
“Let me go, Raum!” She struggled to be let go. “Where did you get this amulet?”
“At my eleventh hour, I had implemented plans A thru Z on how to get over you, I had gone into apocalypse mode and put all my avoidance skills to the test. But I can’t get you out of my mind or heart. If I can’t have you in a romantic way, I will have you thinking I am the enemy. After all, fighting can be as good as sex, when one wins dominance.”
Alyssa used what strength she had, though it was being contained by the blood stone forged in hell, a blood stone that was once the soul of an angel made diamond, corrupted by hell, around her neck. It was just enough to push him back, and his back hit window busting it, but not going through it.
“If you want me come,” Alyssa panted out, it had been three hours of none stop battling and it was now the Devil’s hour. “Come and get me.” She stood but swayed.
Raven paused and smirked, he rubbed the sweat and blood from his face and kept his hand upon his chin as if in thought. “Want you in what way, Angel? Don’t get me wrong, both involve ropes, but it is an important distinction to make before we proceed.”
Alyssa blinked, “what on this forsaken Earth do you mean?”
“Think about it a moment Angel, what else could I do while I had you tied down?”
Alyssa’s eyes went wide, and she sputtered. ‘You think I mean sex?” She dropped the pool cue she had been using. “I can’t have sex! I am an Angel! It would mean giving in to the Deadly Sins!”
Raven moved closer, “you are a Fallen, Angel. That means you can give into any sin you want. Including the Deadlies. I think you would look perfect with Royal Blue Wings. Only sin a deadly can’t over take is murder. A few black with the Royal Blues, maybe some Violet for that Pride of yours.” He was right up close to her, his own pool cue, long forgotten. “Come on Angel, join me in the Sins.” He unleashed his own wings.
Alyssa gasped, she saw the Wrath Red, Lust Royal Blue, Sloth Sky Blue, Gluttony Orange, Greed Yellow, and Envious Green. Al of them mixed black. It made her swallow. They were gorgeous. She backed up and her back hit the wall.
Raven smirked as he sauntered towards her and pined her between his arms. “See what they could become? Come join me, Angel.” He brushed his lips against her skin. “You are a Fallen. You can do what you want. You are a free agent. You aren’t even bound by Hell, not like I am. So, join me, join our own side.” He smirked, he could quote her favorite book. “You ruined me you know.” He placed one hand on her hip. “I can’t even be a good demon. I am stuck in this look of that unmentionable virtue, a downward spiral of admiration and affection.” He kissed her neck again. “Join me…” He kissed up her neck until his lips hovered over hers. “Join me in our second fall.”
“Raum…” Alyssa bit her lip. He was tempting her, so tempting to let him lead her down that rabbit hole. “I… I was…” Alyssa swallowed, “I was always the purist of Angels. I fell for my love of humanity. I fell to save a human, because I loved them. I love these damned broken souls. If I give in, them that angel I was is truly gone. And never coming back.”
“That is a good thing!” Raven placed his other hand on her hip and pulled her towards him. “Do you want to be that angel that followed orders like a good little girl? Do you want to be the angel that stood by and watched as the beings you love were hurt, killed, tortured, or destroyed? Do you want to be her? Because I didn’t like her! I didn’t love her! I fell for the angel that is becoming a cop. I love the angel that is secretly getting justice and vengeance for those who hurt kids! The spells and the curses and leading our monster family towards them! I never in all the eons I have been alive, as an angel, or as the human that got tricked into making a deal with the devil, or as a demon, ever let myself feel the virtues. Then you skid into my life and destroy me! Not because you are an angel, not because you are GOOD,” he spat the word. “But because you have a set of standards, of rules, you live by! You FELL, because you couldn’t do it any longer. When I was an angel I fell because I didn’t want to choose a side! I became human because I didn’t choose a side, reborn loads of times, before I made a deal with Lucifer, and gave him my soul. I became a demon and remembered everything. You stand for something, I fell for anything because I didn’t. That is why when I fell the second time it was without noticing! It was without resistance! I fell Angel, and it is for who you are now, not who you were then, for this woman standing in front of me right now! With her anything but white wings! With wings that will go from this gold to a deep rich blue, to a deep rich black as you embrace the Fallen Angel of Justice and Vengeance you are! Don’t be afraid to embrace the change… because you are leaving the shallow end, you are leaving the sand, join me! Join me in the ocean of desire, join me on the mountain top of love. Join me Angel in this fall!” He then kissed her with all the lust, want, affection, appreciation, desire, and love he felt for her. When his lungs screamed for the air, he didn’t really need he pulled back. “Join me, Angel. My Earth Angel, join me.”
Alyssa swallowed, she looked up into his eyes, through her lashes, her hands had found their way into his hair during the kiss. She took a breath. She never felt anything like she was feeling now. “Show me.” She straightened and with more confidence stated. “Show me how to Fall.” She stated as she pulled his head back down so she could run her lips over his, whispering, “show me how, Raum.”
Raven pulled her closer and kissed her again and he flapped his wings and used his abilities to disappear from the bar, he felt her powers repair it. He internally chuckled, his Angel would always have the streak of having to do what was right. And he would never change her core being, he just wanted to bring out who she truly was, and that was HIS Angel.
He fell the first time because he was a coward who didn’t want to fight. As a human he made a deal he never should have, and had always regretted, especially after getting his memories back. He no longer regrets it, for as a Demon he finally found his completion, in a Fallen Angel who, was just enough of a saint to hide among the humanity she fell to protect. No, he would never regret his choices, because this second fall, was worth every pain and moment of hell he had ever gone through.
Short Story All Rights Reserved Triggers: Zombies, Death, Violence
Once upon at time there was a vain Queen and King, they had a child who was as pretty as can be. They hired three witches to bless the child with beauty, grace and pose.
But there was a fourth witch that was not invited. She came to the christening and gave this proclamation. “This beauty, Briar Rose, shall have her beauty, grace and pose, as long as her heart beats within her chest. The moment her heart stops beating, she will lose all three. Her body however shall never die!” The witch then bent and kissed the sleeping beauty on the head.
She turned on her heel and disappeared from the castle, she left to ponder who words, what they meant. The Queen bent and picked up her child; they found the note left by the witch. “Briar Rose shall prick her finger on a spinning wheel on her eighteenth birthday. That prick shall stop her heart from beating, bringing about the curse I have placed upon her.”
The Queen and King were worried about the curse, though they did not know exactly what it meant; did not know how her heart would stop beating but her body would not die? So they sent the baby to live with the three witches they had hired to make sure of their daughter’s beauty, grace and pose.
The years went by and the young Briar Rose grew up with a normal childhood, never once told that she was the heir to a mighty kingdom, which meant that one day she shall be Queen. She grew up as Twila, the ever loving peasant girl, who had the beauty of a queen.
On the morning of her eighteenth birthday she went upon her day as she normally would have; she got up and picked flowers, feed the animals, and went about her day. The witches, that were in charges of raising her, went to her after lunch as they needed to fit her for her new gown. One that was fit for a princess; as she was now of age, she would now go home and become the princess the land needed, it was time to return to the world of royalty.
They did the fitting and left to get some much needed supplies for the birthday celebration that was to happen that night. After all it would be her last night with them and they felt the depressed at that very thought.
Well they were gone; the other witch took her opportunity to lead young Twila to the spindle of her curse. With a bit of magic, she had Twila follow a small bird to the spindle that spun on its own accord, it weaved a string that was black as sin.
The witch used the bird, and spoke in a soft tone, she instructed Twila to prick her finger on the spindle needle. Which, of course, the young princess did, without hesitation. In that very moment her heart stopped beating. She fell to the floor. The three witches appeared instantly, but were too late to stop what had happened. Instead they froze time, they froze her and the kingdom in an endless sleep, that could only be undone by true loves first kiss. So they protected the sleeping kingdom until they could find a cure for the curse on the young princess, however they never found one. For many years, many decades, the kingdom was frozen in time. Many princes to come ‘save’ the sleeping princess, however the witches prevented anybody from reaching the sleeping princess, thus they left her in the frozen state.
One day a prince from a far away kingdom heard of the sleeping kingdom and thought of the land to be gained from such a union. So he set out across he many lands to get to the kingdom. Once there he faced the three witches, the first put up a field of knifes and spikes, that had to be carefully navigated, and could not be torn down. However this Prince, upon his birth, had been blessed by witches of his own kingdom, with the smarts, and a sword that could cut down any object within its path. He cut through the maze of blades, and made it to the second task set froth by the witches.
He reached a room of fire. The flames would burn through anything. The witches were sure that the prince would never make it through. However, also upon his birth, he was given a shield that would protect him from any supernatural danger. It allowed him to cross the flames of the witches’ passions. It allowed him to face the third and final task.
A monster of the worse sorts, part dragon, part Griffin, colored the deepest of blues with eyes the color of a sunset. A creature that was sure to kill the prince. The prince knew he would defeat it. He was gifted strength, brains and pride upon his birth. He fought though the flames of the creature dodged the spikes upon its tail, evaded the razor sharp teeth that tried to chop down on him, but in the end his sword met the creature’s heart, and it turned to dust.
The three witches looked on in shock as he stood by the bedside of the cursed Princess Briar Rose and he leaned down and kissed her. The moment the kiss ended, she awoke. But she was no longer human, her pale skin, had long ago shrunk. Her beauty she once held was gone; in its place was death. The prince’s kiss had broken the spell which froze time, but not the curse.
The Princess opened her eyes, she got up and then Briar Rose did the unthinkable. She attacked the prince! She bit him. He stabbed her with his sword, but still she came at him. He ran from her, and fell down the stars and broke his neck. The witches waited, their breaths held. They waited to see what would happen now as the undead Briar Rose started to move. Her beauty, her grace, and her pose all gone from her once lovely soul. She did not grow up royal; yet she is the one that paid for the sins of her parents.
The witches watched as the prince’s body also started to move. The curse had extended itself to her victims. The witches watched as Briar Rose set the neck of her undead prince and they went off together, to wreak havoc among their kingdom.
The Queen locked herself in her chambers and cried out in pain as she watched her kingdom become the kingdom of the undead. She cried out to the witch that placed the curse upon her daughter, the one they didn’t invite because of her views of the world. “Hekate! Come to me! I beg you! Come to me! Make me a deal!” The Queen needed to stop the pain of her soul, the pain of seeing her daughter as a zombie. Her soul was drowning in the pain.
“You called Queen Emma?” Hekate appeared.
“Make me a deal! Anything! Reverse your curse! Allow my daughter a life full of happy ever afters.”
“You put you and your family above your people. You hired witches to bless your children, though you know it curses another! You make sure your children know all the comforts of life, while your people go hungry, while they freeze, they know all the hardness and pain, while you and your children know only comfort and joy! And you have the nerve to ask me to reverse the curse? To reset time?”
“Yes! Please I will do anything!” The Queen begged.
“Fine. I will reset time on these conditions and these alone! One, the child will be raised far from you. She shall be raised a poor child, that way when she is queen she will be fair. Two, no longer will you hire the witches to bless the children of royalty. Instead each child born in the kingdom will be bestowed one blessing and one hardship to overcome. And last but not least, your life for hers. You shall die in her place. It is the only way I can reverse time. I need to balance the universe. I took her soul, her life, so yours will be the price to save hers.” Hekate said with a sneer, sure the Queen would not take the offer.
The Queen looked out the window and watched as her daughter took a spoon and scooped out a heart from some poor soul and watched as she ate it. She could not bear this pain. Death would be welcomed for a chance her daughter would live. “Deal.”
Hekate was in shock. “So be it!” Hekate snapped her fingers and time reversed, the conditions now set in blood and soul.
“King Richard! You have a beautiful baby girl! Briar Rose! She was gifted with grace, but cursed with the inability to sing.”
“Fantastic!” The King said with a smile.
“But my King, we regret to inform you the Queen has died in child birth…”
“My wife is gone…?”
“She looked at her daughter and said ‘For you my life.” Then she decreed that she shall be raised by the three witches away from the kingdom until her eighteenth birthday, when she will marry and she said she shall become the queen she never was, then she passed, sir.”
“Then may her wishes be fulfilled.” The King stated and walked way from the servant and his daughter, who would never know the curse once bestowed upon her…
The Damned Saint will be getting a new title. A new cover. It seems social media sites don’t like the word Damned in the title. And I want to be able to promote the novel, that started as a short story almost 25 years ago (25 years in November).
What will this new title be? Not 100% sure at this time. The short story was titled Damned. The novel was supposed to be titled The Damned Saint.
Leaning towards a simple Fallen Saint to The Fallen’s Grace or The Grace of the Fallen.
What I do know is Vapula, Raziel, Sophia, and Botis will have to face unknown enemies and help Michael realize not everything is black and white.
Botis, a genderfluid Duke of Hell, in their female form
Kris Charles - Author 