Keep Breathing: Back To The Grind
“Recovery didn’t open the gates of heaven and let me in. Recovery opened the gates of hell and let me out.”
~ Anonymous
Just an hour later Jay was back home and Kate was on her way back to her house, with plans to meet up for lunch next week. Jay grabbed his keys. He had a pup to collect.
He took a moment to look in the mirror. He blinked and saw a skeleton. His dedication almost killed him. Might still. This lifelong battle is now ahead of him. Sometimes he sat there and felt as if he was a walking death. Sometimes he feels like if he is death. Just waiting to take everybody to hell with him. But maybe this recovery is his way back to Earth. And maybe, he can leave hell behind.
Jay did not go back to work until tomorrow. He looked down at Rex. The little pup had the cutest red collar on his little neck. Jay picked up a tennis ball. “What do you say we do nothing but toss a ball, have a beer, well you will have water, and do nothing at all?” Jay rolled his eyes. “I know I was bored at the center, but I am home now. And well, let’s go put on some music, turn on the grill, you like steak? I like steak.” Jay went and opened the fridge as he rolled the ball toward the little pup. “Well, fuck. We have to go to the grocery store.” Jay looked down at the pup. He smirked. “Okay, boy! We are going to give you a test. You are going to put your little outfit on, and we are going to be on alert at the grocery store. You do good, then you get steak, I get steak, and we have a good grill out.”
The pup tilted his head at him, his little ears larger than his head. The pup then barked when Jay picked up his harness.
Jay put on his harness, and saw the difference. The cute little pup was trained well. Jay picked up his keys, badge, and gun, and opened the door. “Well, Rex, come on, pup.” The pup ran and jumped right into the truck once Jay opened the door.
They walked into their local store. Everyone was waving to Jay; he was a regular here. He grabbed a cart; he looked down at the pup; he lifted him up and sat him in the basket. “Stay on alert.” Rex sat up straight and watched everybody. Jay gave a smile and pushed the cart. “Okay, let’s get the healthy first, then we will get the good stuff!”
Jay put in some veggies, yes, they were frozen, pop those bad boys in the microwave, and bam, instant steamed veggies! Rex gave him a look when he put a lot of broccoli in the cart. “Mini trees, you will love them, Rex.”
Rex gave him a look of disbelief.
“Okay, so they are good for us.” Jay laughed as he threw some frozen fruits in the cart, too. “Passion fruit! Great for smoothies!” Jay felt happy to be back in the world. And he had his new buddy with him.
The only sign of Rex being excited was his tail was wagging. A couple of kids came up to the cart. Jay smiled. “You can pet him. He is a police puppy, still in training.” The kids smiled and lavished the pup with love. Rex soaked it up. Jay smiled. Rex was going to be a great police dog.
It was about a half hour later that Jay finally made it to the meat counter. “Hey, Gary. We will take two of your finest steaks.”
Gary raised an eyebrow. “Two?”
“Ah! Meet my new partner, Rex. Rex, this is Gary. He is our meat dealer.”
“You make it sound like I am slinging drugs.” Gary laughed; as he picked up a couple of sirloins.
“Meat is an addiction. I shall never be cured from.” Jay smiled and patted Rex on the head. “And my little guy here, he is a meat-a-tarian. And I already do meatless Fridays.”
Gary laughed. “Okay, two of our finest sirloins.” He passed the wrapped steaks over. “Anything else?”
“Some of those dog bones.”
“You mean shin bones?”
“Whatever, marrow in bone, dog chew. Dog bones.” Jay laughed.
Gary chuckled; but went into the back and came out with a bag. “Here you go. Freeze them and they will last six months.”
“Thanks, Meat Dealer!” Jay laughed as he pushed the cart toward the fresh produce. He did not often get fresh because he did not know when or how often he would be home, but he did keep some fresh fruits. And he should get some carrots for Rex.
He was checking out when his phone rang. “Danielle?”
Danielle was not happy. Not happy at all. In fact, she was far from happy as could be. The murder from a month ago was still open. And they had nothing. NOTHING! She was going to have to call Jay in early. He was her best detective, even though he was technically off only until tomorrow. She wanted to get him the case file as soon as possible. She picked up the phone.
Jay looked at the phone, then put it back up to his ear. “Boss?”
“I hate to do this to you, but can you come pick up some files?”
“Sure.” Jay really did want a lazy day, but he could pick up the files.
“Okay, see you in about an hour?”
“Be there with bells on!” With that Jay hung up. “Well, buddy, we are going to have to run to the office. Let’s get our dinner home and then we will grab the files and then get back to or lazy day.”
Rex wagged his tail and tilted his head.
Jay chuckled. “Come on, buddy.”
After putting everything away, Jay and Rex were on their way to the station. He pulled into a coffee shop drive-through. “One large iced coffee and a shot of whip cream in a cup for a pup.” He ordered and pulled up. “Hey, Jenni!”
“Jay! You got a pup!”
“Yep. He is still in training. Rex.”
“Ah, so cute! But isn’t it a bit late for coffee?”
“I have to go to the office and I haven’t had more than a cup today. People will try and talk to me!”
Jenni laughed; “on the house, Jay. You have a good day; looking forward to seeing you daily again.”
“You too. Good to see your little coffee shop is booming!”
“Makes me happy! Can’t ever thank you enough for all you did.”
“Ah, it didn’t put me out. Always happy to help. How is Alistar and the baby?” Jay only met Alistar one or two times, but after Jay helped Jenni in a bad situation and got her back on her feet, Alister finished that push she needed to become who she was today.
“Good. My daughter is such a darling! You will have to come over some time. Alistar works so much, but he is the chief over at the fire station.”
“Good! Tell those firebugs I said hi!” Jay knew that Jenni was also long time friends with another firefighter but could not ever remember his name.
Jenni rolled her eyes. “See you tomorrow, Jay.”
“Until tomorrow, Jenni Jen.” Jay drove around the building and parked. “Wanna try this, Rex?” And held out the puppy treat.
Rex sniffed it, then devoured it. Jay laughed and snapped a photo of his little whipped cream build.
“Good boy, Rex.” Jay tossed the now empty cup in the trash as they pulled out of the parking lot. “Now off to work!” As he took a long drag off of his coffee.
Jay pulled into the station and jumped out of the truck, with Rex right behind him. Jay looked down and smiled as the pup right right into ‘work’ mode. He really was quite well trained.
“Hey, Jay!” Bruce yelled as he walked into the offices.
“Brucie!”
Bruce rolled his eyes. “How you been?”
“Good. Supposed to be back tomorrow, because you know me! Eighties music loving workaholic!”
Bruce laughed; and shook his head. “You know that is right. But why are you really here?”
“That damn murder a month ago. The CI, Pickett. Boss wants me to take the folder home with me. Start working on it, or some shit. Is there anything?” Jay leaned against the wall, Rex sat and leaned against Jay.
“Damn fucker burned everything.”
“I hate fire.”
“We all do. Even with how quick thought firebugs are, they couldn’t save anything. Though the were quick. The torture before burning him alive was messed up.”
“Yeah. I wonder if it was sexual or just being sadistic.”
“Or just fucking crazy.”
“They give crazy people a bad name.” Jay pushed from the wall. “Well, better get going before the boss adds all our balls to her collection.”
Bruce laughed. “Dude, you should have seen her give that dress down to the newbie on the other side of town. Thought because she was a woman and ran this station he could try to boss her.”
“Oh, his balls either are on her wall or shrunk back in and have to drop again.” Danielle took no shit from people. It is why all the people around here respected her.
“Drop again. He ran out of here so quick, it was like the hounds of hell were on his tail.”
“Probably would have better luck with them.”
“True story. See ya when you are done. You, Jimmy, and I can go get some dinner and drinks.”
“How about lunch tomorrow. Wanna get this folder up on the board. For some reason I don’t feel we have seen the last of this bastard.”
“Yeah, I got that gut feeling too. Fuck. See you tomorrow. We will get lunch. You go to the boss and then start the board.”
“See ya, Brucie!” Jay pushed from the wall, snapped his fingers for Rex to follow, and went down the hall to talk to Danielle.
Danielle looked up when the door opened. “Jay! I am sorry to take away your last day. But this case is a month old now. And we got nothing.”
“Way to jump back in it. No, Jay how are you? How is life? Did you find a sponsor? Well, thank you Danielle, it is going great. I got a pup. A couple of steaks to grill out when I leave here. So, life is good. I got a good sponsor. Name’s Richard. Life is the same, drink coffee, try not to shoot the idiot bad guys. You know the drill. Thanks for asking.”
“Sarcasm. Great. Love you too, Jay.” Danielle stood up and hugged him. They were good friends, too. Started together. But Jay liked the action too much to do as much paperwork as being Captain entailed.
“Good to see you, Dani. So, the folder?”
“We got nothing.” Danielle handed him over the file.
“Don’t worry.” Jay took the file. “Even the so called best bad guys make mistakes are are caught. What is the quote, ‘even gods must die’? They are all psychos. And I will catch this idiot. Then they will die with a needle in their arm.”
“God, I hope so. That torture was messed up. Tony’s report is in there.”
“Good. I will call Tony with questions. You just keep this portal to hell running. And I will be in tomorrow with some initial thoughts and notes. I will prepare the board tonight.”
“Thanks. See you tomorrow.”
Jay nodded and snapped his fingers again. Rex followed like the good boy he was; and with that they left the station.
That night, while Rex was working on a piece of blue sirloin, Jay was standing in front of a newly put together board of evidence. He had one sticky note that showed how Pickett was attached to him and the station. He took a deep breath. God, he hoped he could find this killer. “Don’t worry, Rex. We won’t give up. We will slay this goddamn dragon; and get justice for the life lost.”
Arcas was sitting in the station. He was going over some new journals that came out for paramedics. Ways of improving the odds of helping and saving lives in the field. There were a few classes he could take to become more certified for more procedures. He would talk to Alistar about the time off to take the classes.
Alister was sitting in his office on the phone to Jenni. “That is great! Jay really needs to come over. Jay… Is your Jay the same one that was in the papers?”
Jenni laughed over the phone. “Of course, who else but a man with a heart of gold would do something like that. I will let you get back to work. Tell Arcas I said hi!” With that, Jenni hung up.
Alistar looked up when the door opened. “Arcas! Jenni says hi.”
“Well, when you see her tonight, tell her hi. I got some classes I want to take.”
Alister nodded. “Well, let’s see them. And then let’s check the schedule.”
Arcas sat down and showed him the catalog at the local college that put on the classes for paramedics. “Do you think it is smart to take more classes? It is expensive.”
“Arcas, you sat with me in the dark. You sat with Jenni in the dark. You have been such a source of life and light. This would make you happy. No matter the cost, you need to do what will make you happy.”
Arcas nodded. “Thank you, Alistar. I think these two classes will be best for us, at the end I am certified to do this list of procedures, meaning we can keep them alive, maybe save more people.”
Alistar nodded. “Very well. I will make sure you have the time to take the classes.”
Arcas stood. “Thank you. I have to go do inventory now.”
“Oh, joy! Have fun!” Alistar laughed.
Arcas spent the next four hours getting the ambulances ready for the next call. He was glad that so much of the job can be boring. He turned at a yell.
“Laps, Newbie!” He heard David yell at the newbie.
“What? Why?”
“You were late.” David smirked; he took being second in command extremely seriously.
“Dude, you are my brother. You were my ride. If I am late, you are.”
David laughed; “rule one, Newbie. I am not late. You, however, are. Laps.”
Charlie sighed and dropped his gear and started to run laps around the building.
David came up to Arcas. “Gotta get that kid to exercise, ore. I swear, work, video games, junk food, and sleep.”
“Don’t worry. He is still only twenty. He will understand shortly that he can’t always live on junk food and has to do more than yawn to burn calories. Wait until he hits thirty.” Arcas laughed and threw him the clipboard. “You can finish, since you were late.” Arcas laughed as David yelled hey, and Arcas went to find his laptop.
Alistar walked into the sleeping rooms to find Arcas with his headphones on. He walked behind him and raised an eyebrow. “Demonology? How is that going to help?”
Arcas jumped. “Well…” Arcas rubbed the back of his neck. Damn, it was a guilty pleasure to read and watch those type of documentaries. “Maybe we will get a possessed person?”
Alistar rolled his eyes. “Just get the list of the two or three classes you want to take, so I can make up a schedule so you still stay full time.”
“Oh, I sent you an email about thirty minutes ago. I want to start with two classes.”
“Good idea. I will leave you too the demons.” Alistar laughed, as he left the rooms.
Paul walked in. “Hey, pal, how was the extra shift?”
“Car fire. Something funny about it though. They person was already dead. And seemed… I don’t know gutted.”
Paul nodded. “Maybe someone is selling parts on the black market. Rumor is that a kidney is like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Heart is like one twenty-five.”
Arcas rolled his eyes. “You watch too much television.”
Paul laughed and plopped down next to Arcas. “So, more demon stuff?”
“Yeah. I am just decompressing.”
“Yeah, we all need a guilty pleasure.”
“And to stop being shamed for them.”
“That is society for you. Love the mask, hate the person.”
“Fuck, so called society norms.”
“True that.”
They did not get to sit around much longer, just chatting as the alarm went off. Another fire has called their name.
Arcas got to the fire and started treating the people that had gotten out of the building. He looked over and saw the cops.
He saw Jay talking with a few other plain clothed detectives and he sent them along the way.
They must think it is arson, or connected at least, to the last arson murder case.
Arcas just looked at Jay for a moment. He was thinner than the picture the paper used, but seemed a lot better than when Arcas saved him. Suddenly, Jay looked over and locked eyes with Arcas. Arcas could not even look away, so he just nodded.
He watched as shock went through Jay’s eyes. Jay nodded back. But turned back to his work.
Arcas turned back to his work as well. He pushed all thoughts of Jay from his mind.
They came back from the fire, dragging themselves to the shower. Their goal after was food, and coffee. Alistar was the quickest. He was going to go prepare food. Arcas came out of the shower, still drying his hair. “Whatcha making?”
“My famous chili! And for dessert, mint chip ice cream!”
“Ah, hellfire for dinner.” Arcas laughed; as he started to set the table for the team.
“Thanks. But why must you call it hellfire chili?”
“Because it is. You put those little southern bells in that thing. Then you feed us mint ice cream. Evil. Full of hellfire.”
“Mint is supposed to be cooling! And it is!”
“Maybe for beings from hell.”
“Hey! You said I could marry your best friend. So, what does that make you?”
“Don’t you know, my soul was born damned if you ask my parents.”
Alistar rolled his eyes. “Your parents are more damned than you are. You are a damned saint.”
Arcas rolled his eyes. “So, how is the hellfire going?”
“Be done by the time those bums are out of the showers. I started it last night.”
“Good. Food and a nap sound fantastic. Hellfire Chili or not.” Arcas laughed as he plopped down in the seat.
“Drink some coffee.”
“Coffee seems to be the answer to everything.”
“Drink coffee, try not to snap and kill the people that annoy us, and repeat. That is the basic to do list of every adult in the world.”
Arcas laughed. “I don’t need anymore coffee. Had a bunch when I first came in. I need food and a nap.”
“Well, food will be up shortly.” Alistar stated; as he checked the giant pot on the stove.
“Good.”
“Hey, Arcas, don’t spread yourself too thin with the new classes. I worry about you sometimes.”
“I know. I am one of those people that expects people to do the same amount of hard work I do. I learned that they don’t. And I learned my limits. Just one or two classes a term. I swear.”
“Good!”
“Anyways, when I choose this path, I wasn’t just going to be average, I was going to be the best.”
“And you are. And you push those around you to be better too. You are a leader, Arcas. And a good one. One day you will make an excellent captain yourself.”
“I read they are thinking about two captains per house, one for the fire engines and one for the paramedics?”
“Yep. I am glad you brought that up. I am putting your name up for Paramedic Captain. You would be great at it. It wouldn’t take place for a few months. They have to figure out how everything will work. But I see our house being one of the first with the dual captains come the new year.”
Arcas blinked. “Wow. I mean, thanks.”
Alistar smiled. “You earned it. Now, let’s call the free loaders!”
Arcas stood and looked over the railing. “FOOD!” It sounded like a herd of elephants as the team came up the stairs and into the kitchen and dining hall.
Everybody was sitting, eating, chatting. It was shaping up to be a long night, but everything for the moment was calm as they relaxed.
Kris Charles - Author 