Praying Scene

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I was reading through the draft as a friend reads through Katy Lily The Veil Lifts and The Keepers and found this scene.

Lysandra looked at an ex of hers. The ex, was one she could have seen it working with. But Lysandra had been so afraid to come and say she was equal opportunity with who she loved. Teenage Lysandra had some mother issues. 

“Sandy, it has been a long time.” Tina smiled. 

“It has. I see you and Rachel are doing well.”

“And you and what’s his name?”

“Brian. No. We are done. Always doomed to failure.”

“I am sorry I couldn’t be the one to hold you until you found the one the one that grounds you. But we couldn’t be the ones to waste time together. I wish I had been good enough. To be the one to ground. To be the one that could hold you to reality. I did love you. But I couldn’t be a dirty secret.”

“I was a fool. But we wouldn’t have lasted either way. Even if I did have a ring in my pocket for you. It was just, we hit a rough patch with dad’s heath and I wasn’t ready to risk disownment, at eighteen.”

“You bought a ring? At eighteen?”

“Yeah, stupid teenage love. I was going to ask you before dad’s heart attack. But then you gave me that ultimatum and I walked away. Right back to that dick named Brian.” Lysandra took another shot. “I am glad you are happy.”

“You will find the right person for you. I know it, Sands.”

“Maybe. Until then, sex and liquor are good enough.”

“Don’t lose yourself in your grief or your parents plans for you, Sands. Or you won’t found your way out of the darkness.”

Lysandra took another shot. “Tina, you always were the optimist.” She looked at the empty glass. Wondering if maybe some secrets to the universe were in it. “But I don’t need an Aziraphale to my Crowley. Because in the end it leaves me more broken than I was before. Because just like Aziraphale, that person will choose the hope of something better over me. And me? I will be left wondering if I can find secrets of the universe in a bottle or cheap tequila and in the back of someone’s car. I need someone to love me like Crowley loves Aziraphale, I need the Aziraphale that isn’t running to false hope.”

“Always the book analogies. And people saw you as the ditzy cheerleader.”

“Well, I did live up to some of those stereotypes.” Lysandra smirked.

“Go home. Sleep it off.”

“I could. Or I can go hit on on that gorgeous specimen of a human over there and try and feel something other than numbness.”

“Lysandra.”

“Tina.”

“I am calling you a cab.”

“Fine. Fine. I won’t hit on anybody in your bar.” Lysandra took the final shot. “Until next time, Tina.”

“Lysandra. Don’t keep running for people to hold you while you wait. Find your ineffable spouse. Because under it all, Aziraphale loves his Crowley.”

Lysandra gave a smile and left the bar, keys in hand.